Inescapable Past
by unkemptwords
Summary: This story is based on the same story as the previous one. Again it has mild, very mild, hints of eventual Shakarian romance. However, Commander Shepard is currently in a failing relationship with Kaidan Alenko. In the past I've read a lot of stories where Kaidan was brutally characterized or dead so I' thought I'd give it a different spin. Rated T just to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

It started when an old photo of Commander Shepard began circulating around the lower decks. Apparently Joker had found it while sifting through ancient military reports out of boredom and stumbled across the reports from Akuze. In the photo, Shepard was young. Nineteen years old tops. She was frail looking as if something inside of her had shattered. Her eyes were dull and her expression vacant. It was as if mentally she was somewhere far away from whoever was taking the picture of her. Her arms were held loosely at her sides in her new shiny red armor. Yellowing scratches marked her left eye which was covered by a milky film that seemed to highlight the blue undertones of her iris and the corner of her lip was quivering with a new scar in the making.

Joker held it out proudly, "Proof that Shepard has always been hot." He declared to the crowd in front of him. It was lunch time and most of the crew had gathered in the kitchen to collect their meal. The unique smell of military grade food wafted around Garrus as he played poker with Kaidan.

"You know, I don't like that picture." Kaidan told Garrus absentmindedly. His voice was low and he tapped his hand of cards against the super alloy table. They had gotten the deck from Shepard herself. They were an old earth relic and they smelled faintly of tobacco and dust. Shepard always carried them with her and most assumed it was because they had some sort of special meaning to her but, she was always willing to lend them out to whoever asked. When she had handed the deck to Kaidan, Garrus saw their hands brush mournfully before Shepard brusquely pulled her hand back. Kaidan's ears turned the color of blood beneath his thick mat of hair. "_Just make sure to bring them back." _She had told them before returning to her conversation with Pressley.

"I don't like it much either." Garrus admitted to Kaidan. "She seems… off in that picture. Not like Shepard." The picture had firmly planted itself in Garrus' mind and grown roots, crawling around the base of his neck. He couldn't help but sometimes see the broken nineteen year old Shepard surfacing in the current Shepard. She appeared in small actions; In the rare moments when Shepard was caught standing still, in the way her breath would catch when she caught sight of Kaidan and her heart broke a little because they were still fighting and, in the way her voice would go quiet as she talked about Earth.

When Wrex had seen the picture he had simply scoffed and turned away, muttering something under his breath about pyjaks and pilots. Garrus wished he had done the same. Instead he had held the picture gently within his talons and looked at it closely. Her hair hadn't changed at all since then. Truth be told, that night Garrus had downloaded the picture off of the extranet and looked at it quietly in the privacy of his bunk while listening to the odd hum of Turian music. Kaidan had told Joker off for snooping in Alliance files. Garrus looked at his hand of cards and folded. Kaidan slackly collected his forty credits.

Garrus heard the unmistakeable clunk of her boots before he saw her. Some of her hair had fallen into her face and she seemed to be in a hurry. Shepard called out, "Hey, Joker I need you to-" But stopped when she noticed the picture he was holding up. The look on her face was wretched and unbearable; a mixture of pain and embarrassment. Her voice was low but somehow managed to be heard over the congenial chatter that filled the hall, "Where did you get that?" Joker's face flared and he hastily tucked the picture into the front pocket of his cargo pants.

"Nowhere. What did you need?" He got up from where he was sitting at the end of the table and limped over to her posthaste. The room had gone silent and every busy-body on the ship was watching the exchange. Shepard lifted her hand to her face as if to shield herself from the unwelcome looks. She barked a few orders to Joker and watched him leave. Her gaze fell to the ground and she didn't move for a brief period of time. She whirled around with her eyes hardened and level. There was no weakness in her stance as she walked towards the end of the ship as if to examine the pods. The crew lost interest in Shepard and went back to being their usual loudmouth selves.

She knelt next to one of the pods and looked it over closely in the dull orange light. Garrus leaned back, pushing himself away from the table. Her hand clenched and Garrus sensed the tiniest of trembles in her shoulders but she was getting steadier. Kaidan stood up abruptly and walked over to her. Shepard's face lifted at Kaidan's voice and Garrus saw it, he saw Shepard cracking like an eggshell and Kaidan holding her together. Kaidan grabbed her hand and lifted her up. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulled her close against him and, whispered something to her that Garrus was too far away to hear. Shepard stepped away from him and strode towards her cabin. Kaidan didn't follow but, his eyes never left her.

The next day the crew received a briefing on their next Alliance mission from Pressley. Shepard excused herself from the meeting beckoning to Joker. She claimed to have some details that she needed to go over with him in private. Everyone knew the real reason she had called to him. Gossip spread like wildfire. She had called him into her room to talk about the picture. Nobody knew why it had unsettled her so much, though.

The mission was basic. They were headed to some seedy planet in the far reaches of the traverse to pick up a repentant gang member. The ex-gang member had agreed to give up information on the inner workings of his gang, information he swore could bring down some major corporations, in exchange for protection from the Alliance. Strangely enough he had requested that Shepard pick him up specifically.

Shepard didn't seem to know why the gang member would want her to handle to pick-up but she had agreed to take care of it for Hackett. It didn't make sense to Garrus that they would send one of their best soldiers on such a humdrum mission but Alliance business was strictly not _his_ business. He prepared for the mission as best he could knowing that Shepard would probably choose Wrex and himself to go planet-side with her. Out of all the squad members they were the best at figuring out criminal types. C-Sec training gave Garrus an edge in that area and Wrex _had_ been a criminal of sorts for some time. He headed down to the cargo bay to wait until they arrived.


	2. Chapter 2

The planet was thick with dust. A film of earth coated all of the buildings metallic red as the wind that whipped against their armor attempted to achieve the same effect on their bodies. There was a constant howling sound as dusty air forcefully pushed it's way through narrow alleys and everything smelled dry and lifeless.

Shepard checked her online map quickly, trying to locate the bar where they were supposed to meet their gang member in. Wrex shuffled restlessly behind Shepard. His large form kicking up a puff of dust with each movement. "Can we hurry this up Shepard? I'm getting sand in my quad." Shepard turned to look at Wrex. Most of her face was hidden by her N7 breather helmet but she still managed to communicate her disapproval with a pinching of her dark eyebrows and a simple muttering of "Wrex." Wrex shook his head and Shepard returned to looking at her map. After several minutes of fiddling around and looking for nonexistent landmarks in their banal surroundings, she pointed to their left with a heavily gloved finger.

"That way." Her voice rang clearly through Garrus' comm device. Wrex grunted his relief as they started to walk towards their destination. The wind grated his hearing and his nerves. There was a constant crackling sound filtering its way through his radio. It unsettled him and scratchy paranoia was lining his stomach when they finally found the bar where their package was waiting. Shepard's posture became taut as they approached the bar and her alertness traveled through Garrus and Wrex like electricity through a fine line of wire. Wrex stopped shuffling and Garrus keenly inspected the roofs for possible sniper hideouts. Being shot at was never fun and a bullet to the head was a nasty surprise Garrus was willing to pass up on.

Inside the bar there was a scattered collection of Asari, Battarians, Krogan and even a few Elcor pounding through the bar and grumbling over drinks. There was a lone Salarian talking in hushed tones with a commando but, none of the patrons looked as if they were prepared for a fight. The bar itself was crusted with grime. Suspicious stains decorated the tables flaking off with a wave of a hand or the brush of a cup. The whole place reeked of metallic blood and Krogan liquor. Dust scraped off the floor only to resettle with each step and Garrus couldn't help but wonder why the hell someone would choose to live on this planet.

The place was disgusting but, not threatening. Still, Shepard didn't relax. Garrus supposed that was how she had lived so long. Even a seemingly calm environment like this one had a habit of exploding into violence when Shepard was around. He wouldn't be surprised if she slept with a gun under her pillow and kept a second in her nightstand. "It doesn't look like he's here yet. Alright guys, our target is a human male and is supposed to be wearing red. Let me know if you see him come in." They stepped up to the bar keeping loose formation. Garrus could tell that their presence was starting to make the odd assortment of criminal patrons in the bar nervous. _Good, _he thought, _keep them on their toes. _Can't have criminals getting too comfortable.

Oddly enough the bartender was a Krogan. That was a first for Garrus. He didn't think Krogans had the temperaments to deal with loud drunks. Usually, they _were _the loud drunks but, in a way it made sense. This bar probably had the fewest customer initiated brawls in the city. Nobody wanted to make a Krogan angry by breaking one of his cups on another patron's face. The Krogan approached Shepard with caution and rumbled out an offer for a drink. Shepard waved him away distractedly telling him she was alright for now. Her hands slapped against the edge of the bar in a peculiar rhythmic drumming. If he didn't know better he would have said Shepard was nervous. "Something up?" He asked her quietly. Wrex was already staring down another Krogan and lifting his lip in a silent growl.

"No. Not really. Something about this mission just feels wrong. Call it intuition." She looked up at him and then behind him. "Fuck." She whispered. Garrus turned around and saw what Shepard was looking at. A smirking human male wearing red. This was their package, Garrus reasoned, based off of the description Shepard had given earlier. The human's features were craggy and the wide quirk of his lips nettled Garrus for some reason but nothing about him seemed to call for the extensive range of expletives flowing out of Shepard's mouth at the moment.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." She said for good measure before the human approached her warmly, his smile getting wider.

"Shepard!" He crowed, "Long time no see. Couldn't avoid me this time, eh? Knew you couldn't say no to the Alliance." He reached out to pat her on the shoulder but Shepard jerked away. Wrex seemed to be amused by this little bit of human drama as did the rest of the bar patrons who were now looking at their group.

"I would have said no if I knew it was _you_ we were coming here to pick up." She hissed at the human. Something about this man had set Shepard off and she was spitting mad. Garrus noticed a fizzing sensation at his side and turned to look at Shepard. Her profile was picking up a hint of blue as her biotics spilled out of her body. Garrus decided it was time to intervene.

"I'm no expert on human politics but I'm pretty sure the Alliance won't be too happy if you kill their informant." He told her cooly. Shepard rattled out a sigh and the blue faded slightly but a protective film still covered her, "So," He asked casually, tilting his head back, "How do you two know each other?"

"None of your goddamn business." Shepard responded with sudden venom. Garrus stepped back. Shepard rarely snapped but when she did the whole crew- Garrus included- knew better than to push her. "Fuck. I'm sorry." She said seconds later, "Just don't ask about this." Shepard covered her eyes and then added softly, "Please." There were aspects of his own past he would rather not talk about so Garrus let it go with a nod.

"If you're done acting like a crazed varren let's take our package up to the ship and _leave_ this ugly gob of a rock." Wrex grabbed the human by the shoulder, more than ready to drag him out. The human struggled for a bit but couldn't get his shoulder out of Wrex's grasp. After failing to pull himself away the human suddenly beamed at Shepard.

"Nice Krogan you got here Shepard. Where'd you pick him up?" Wrex growled at the subtle insult but the human just ignored him and the claws that must have been digging painfully into his shoulder, "But, you mean to tell me that you didn't tell anyone about our little relationship? Your brief fling with -"

"Shut up." Shepard whipped out her gun quicker than a snake and pointed it at the human's head. "Just, shut up." It didn't seem to bother the human at all that Shepard had a weapon pointed at his face and Garrus was beginning to find himself just as irritated with this human as Shepard was. It was that goddamn smirk.

"I'm Elliot, by the way." He introduced himself to Garrus, who was contemplating punching him just to get it over with, before turning to look to Shepard again, "A Turian too? You always were an alien lover." Shepard's finger was beginning to tighten on the trigger when Garrus pulled it away from Elliot's head. Wrex grunted and head-butted Elliot, knocking him out.

"I believe the Commander told you to shut up." Wrex chuckled and slammed his fists together.

Shepard's shoulders loosened and drooped for a bit. There were no real enemies here. Garrus wondered what expression she was making beneath her helmet. There was a dejected cast about her eyes, it was in the wilting of her lids and, maybe there was even a little bit of fear in her eyes too.


End file.
